Welcome once more to Doctor Carnage's World of Horror. Let me begin by saying its great to be back.The past twelve years (has it really been that long) has been long, arduous and frankly sometimes soul destroying.
I;m going to do something a little different with this post and move away from horror to talk about what has happened these past twelve years. In 2012, my wife (whom I was no longer living with) took away our children, without telling me where they were going. Thankfully my children's school said they could tell me where the children's records were sent. It was also at this time that I began fighting through court ton have contact with my kids.
I represented myself in court, and had to fight for seven years with very little contact with them, Seven years of wading through lie after lie, different social workers, things being made increasingly difficult by my ex. By 2019, I truly felt ready to give up the fight, as I felt I could not go on,
I received a phone call in 2019 explaining that a meeting was to be held to discuss what was happening with the children. I attended, and it was such a difficult time listening to what was said. In the end, I assumed I would finally be having contact with the kids once more.
The day after the meeting, I received a phone call asking me why I didn't want to take the children to live with me. I was blindsided, but I knew I had to do this, or they would have been put into the care system. So a few days after, they came to live with me.
I was so happy that I could finally see my kids once more, and since that day, they have both grown into amazingly kind, thoughtful and happy kids who i couldn't be more proud of.
I also began a nbew relationship in 2017 with a lady from the US, and I fell hard for her (I'd seen her pattern of being in a relationship for a year and then moving on to someone else, but never ever even considered it would happen to me.
I attended my first horror con in the US with this ladys family, and we even had a hand fastening ceremony at said convention (and an absolutely vile encounter with Linda Blair). A year or so later, she asked for a relationship break. I was not comfortable with this due to past experience, but I didn't want to doubt her commitment.
Yet a year later, I found out that she had been seeing someone else, sending pictures of herself topless to other men.
That nearly broke me, and if it wasn't for my kids coming back into my life, I don't know what would have happened.
So at the beginning of 2019, I assumed I was having a massive panic attack, and attended the hospital for Diazepam. Yet this feeling of panic, dizziness and nausea persisted. The next day is a blur. I remember vomiting so much. So much so that I remember vomiting blood. I was rushed to hospital, and it was discovered that I had Sepsis, which in turn had triggered Diabetic Ketoacidosis. So not only did I have an infection, my body had started consuming itself from the inside.
If I had been taken into hospital ten minutes later, I would not be here to write this. Thankfully I made a full recover. Family and friends helped me through these times so much. I healed both from the relationship and from the near death experience, finally visited a doctor about my lifelong problems with anxiety and got medicated. It was trial and error at first, but I'm happy to say I am anxiety free. It is so different not worrying about the smallest thing, about being able to relax and live instead of always being in my head, worrying about the past, present and future.
So that leads me to today. My son suggested I start writing about movies and music again. So here I am once more.
After all the trials and darkness of the last nine years, I am now in a place I am truly happy, thriving and growing. I've lost weight (6 stone so far) and while my health is still a huge issue, it doesn't drag me down as often as it did.
I just wanted to share a slight overview of what's been happening in my life and why I've been away from this blog for so long. Normal service will now be resumed.
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